My husband and I had the start of a really great conversation on the way home from an errand earlier this week. He said something like, “If we ever win the lottery…”, and then he listed some things he wanted to do. Now, we play the lottery maybe two or three times a year, so it’s possible that we could win. It’s also fun to dream.
Something occurred to me though as we continued to talk. The difference between dreams and goals is timeline. What does that mean for us exactly? Well, to me, it means that we can have our dreams if we turn them into goals with a timeline and a solid plan. The key to my previous statement though is “we”. Fred and I are the only ones that can make our life what we want it to be, and while that responsibility might be scary to some, I find it exciting. It means that Fred and I hold the power; we don’t have to wait on someone else or depend on some other passive something or other to move our lives in a positive, fulfilling direction.
Like I said though, the “we” part is probably the most crucial element in the discussion. If we’re not working together, if we’re not on the same page, we aren’t getting anywhere productive. For example, I was talking with Fred this morning about how our eating on plan has already made noticeable improvements for the two of us, and he agreed saying, “But it’s hard for me to eat on plan when you’re not.”
I told him, “Of course it is, just like it’s hard for me when you consider foods ‘on plan’ that I don’t. I get it.”
Our life design is no different. It’ll require us to be on the same page, and it’ll require us to stay focused and not run the other person off the rails. I’m certain we can do it, and for the first time in a while, I’m actually really excited about the prospect. While sitting around and dreaming can be fun, it doesn’t really solve the issue of plan and direction.
Long story short, and my husband doesn’t know this yet, but we’re going to stop dreaming and start planning and goal-setting. It’ll involve several conversations, I’m sure, but that’s OK. Planning the rest of our lives so that they’re the lives we want them to be seems like a pretty healthy thing to do in a relationship. As Fred and I approach our 19th anniversary, I just can’t help but think that the next 19 years will be even better, and he and I are the only ones that can make that happen.