Today marks the end of week sixteen since committing to a ketogenic eating plan, and I’m still plugging along. The scale is moving, albeit slowly, and I’m continuing to get lots of practice at making this a lifestyle rather than a diet.
I’ve only lost 3.4 pounds since my last update, but the losses are really starting to add up now. I’ve lost 25.2 pounds in the last sixteen weeks, and I’m going to need new pants soon. I guess there are worse problems to have.
More important than the weight loss though is the way my thinking has changed. Food is nothing more than fuel to me now, but I have remained vigilant, never taking my success for granted. I will always have food demons, and the moment I let my guard down for even an instant, I’ll risk all the progress I’ve made so far. That’s not something I’m willing to do!
Let’s take Christmas as an example. In our home, we have a tradition. I bake cinnamon rolls, and everyone expects them. My husband takes some to his job, my kids expect them, and they’re gifted to friends and family who’ve come to appreciate them. I went into the process of baking them by deciding I wasn’t going to have even one this year. I know what they taste like. I know they’re amazing. I also know I’d regret it if I had one. To me, it wasn’t worth it.
What I didn’t expect though was the deliberate thinking I did while making them. It didn’t hit me until I was making the cream cheese frosting. Making the frosting is messy. Frosting the rolls is messy. My hands were covered in the stuff and I really wanted to have just a little bit. Soon, my thoughts were overrun by frosting. “It’s a shame that so much of this frosting is getting wasted.” “Nobody would blame me for licking frosting off my hands. It’s not that much, is it?”
For the briefest of moments, I worried about my resolve, but I remembered the decision I’d made before I even started the process. I’m too fragile right now. I can’t handle just one taste, and my success so far means more to me than some stupid frosting on my hands.
The conversation that I had with myself couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds, but it was significant. I know that some folks can handle “just one taste” or “just this once”, but I’m not one of those people. Do I wish I were? Of course I do! Have I talked myself into believing that I could be one of those people in the past? You better believe I have. It’s for those reasons though that I had to hold my ground. I owed it to myself, and feeling of accomplishment that I gained from working through that uncomfortable situation wasn’t worth all the cream cheese frosting in the world to me.
That’s one thing that has been different during this journey. I’ve taken moments to work through some of my issues rather than just ignoring them or pretending that they aren’t there. It seems so much more effective to do it this way because I’m building skills that’ll help me during the tough times (that I know will come.)
People who tell you that changing your life is easy are liars or fools. I know. I’ve been the liar and I’ve been the fool. I’m determined to do things right this time though, and for now, with lots of hard work, I’m getting there. What you do matters! Remember that!